Example of a Satirical List

10 Things You Totally Have To Say To Land Yourself A Young, Black BFFL

By: Christina Ayoleke

  1. You’re so lucky. You can literally do whatever you want to your hair.
  2. Oh em gee, your hair looks so fun and exotic. Can I touch it?
  3. Girl, I got so tan this weekend, I’m like the same color as you. We look like sistahs, heyyy!
  4. Do you know how to booty shake? Twerk? Shake it like a red nose? Show me!
  5. You don’t have a ba-donk-a-donk, your butt is as small as mine. Ha, you’re shaped like a white girl!
  6. I wish I had lips that were big and full and luscious, like yours.
  7. Is it true, ya know, what they say about black guys? *wink, wink*
  8. Be honest, do you think Kylie Jenner got those big lips from giving bjs to black guys?
  9. What’s that perfume you’re wearing? It smells like hot wings. YUMMY!
  10. Selfie time! Okay, let’s stand over here by the window so everyone can see you this time.
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